“Mom, I just don’t think I ever want kids. I’m selfish and I like it that way. I just don’t get how you do it…like why do you do it??”
“Booooog, I want grandkids! And you and Cody are my life. I don’t know who I would be without yall.”
I had this conversation with my mom a few months ago and two things have echoed in my mind since then:
- If that’s not sacrificial, unconditional, true love, then I don’t know what is.
- But most importantly, Moms forget WHO they are when they become mothers.
So often our Mommas forget who they were before us, and who they still are deep down inside. Years of running the kids to practices, drowning in sweaty laundry and scrambling for dinner takes a toll on their souls and covers up the great woman at the core.
Like an onion (thanks for the example, Shrek), you have to peel back the layers to get to WHO our Moms are.
My Mom has awesome layers:
She is LOUD. She’s a gorgeous, Reba look-alike. She’s a police officer. She was a bomb twirler. She’s a dancing queen. She is a basketball mom, football mom, dance mom, UT mom. She clearly also has GREAT style:
Talk about “blue jean baby!”
But it is what is at her core that makes WHO she is.
- She is a good listener: I could be complaining about “the worst day in human history” or my little brother could be rambling about some new voice-changing app and she’s going to listen, not just hear.
- She is driven. She has worked hard as long as she has worked. She has climbed every ladder and reached the top, and she has impacted people along the way with her compassion and drive to never stop.
- She is a friend. And a great one at that. She loves unconditionally, forgives quickly, and truly goes above and beyond for others.
- She is a prayer warrior: She prays for us and with us. She prays with my little brother every single morning while they wait for the bus and I have no doubt she prays for me as I leave for work. She prays over her husband and my future husband.
- She gives biblical guidance: When I’m doing all that complaining and whining and venting and crying she doesn’t give me worldly, quote-inspired advice, it’s straight from the Bible. She tells me to hold onto hope, to have full faith in God’s plan, to be patient, and has even offered to fast with me.
- She believes in me, always. My Mom jumps aboard every obsession, obstacle and new idea I have. She supports my little brothers beat-boxing, my laughable attempts at yoga, and everything in between. Not only does she support it, she builds it, she believes in it. And she makes me believe in myself.
These qualities were not products of her motherhood. She is an amazing mother because of these qualities she had long before she became a Mom.
I have told close friends how ready I am to get out of the house because “we are just way too alike.” It’s true, we are both extremely sensitive, defensive and can be quite sassy. However, if I’m more similar to her than not and have half of the amazing qualities she does, I’m 110% happy with that.
To all the Moms out there: A Mom is just a smidgen of who you are.
You were you long before your kiddos came along.